Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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