dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize