"it" just moved
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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