i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
