would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
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