He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
