I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
