I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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