ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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