i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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