We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
