if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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