This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
