ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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