Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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