apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
