Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
