I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
