Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
