I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
