You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
