I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
