we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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