glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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