Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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