I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Randomize
