Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
