He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
this hospital has no fireball
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
