we have officially lost it.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i just made my gag reflex go away.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
