What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize