hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
