If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
