My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
