Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
