he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
