I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
