Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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