yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
