it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
