We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
