Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize