You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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