East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
