addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
