Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
