I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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