And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
