is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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