Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize