we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
