I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
