my mouth tastes like poor choices
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
