I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
