So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
