Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
