1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
