Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
